When you need to serve a conservative politician, it helps if to have some fun with it. Yes, politicians are just “technically” human beings, but we are talking about bigoted conservative ones who engage in genocide. Those idiots are evil, and thus the least the owners of our private investigation agency in Ponca City, OK can do is to share with the public the most creative ways for process servers in Altus, OK to make sure civil documents appear in the hands of the politicians in a way the judge in the case will find satisfactory. Thus, the following is a partial list of these creative ways that our process servers most enjoy doing their professional duties includes, but is not limited to, the following:
Table of Contents
The Well-Financed Lobbyist Ploy:
Process servers know that politicians listen most to those who give the most money to finance their campaigns. Indeed, the masses of voters are not as important as lobbyists, because with enough money from political action committees (PACs) and the lobbyists they represent, the media outlets can tell the voters what to think. Most human beings really are easy to fool and manipulate.
Indeed, conservative politicians intentionally keep voters busy with low wages so they must work hard. Likewise, Republican political office holders also ensure that the educational system is terrible, so they will have to work low paying jobs and will have extremely limited amounts of information to analyze complicated bills they pass into law. Presidents like Donald Trump will openly mock you for being uneducated, and his uneducated, unintelligent supporters will cheer and thank him for the “compliment” he just gave you. All this mayhem and stupidity is due in large part to well-paid lobbyists and the billionaires that back them.
With that said, the best process servers can choose to pretend to be lobbyists to get easier access to politicians. By pretending to be one from a well-funded corporation that the Republican takes big money for her/his campaign from, the politician might very well just walk out and meet with you. If this happens, the process server in El Reno can jump out and give the court papers to the bigoted politician, quietly smirking to yourself as you go back to your car and fill out your affidavit of service to give to the client and patting yourself on your back for a job well done.
The Concerned Constituent Ruse:
Process servers in Enid can also pretend to be concerned constituents seeking to talk with their politicians. However, unless they use the lobbyist trick the owners of our PI agency discussed above, the politician will not want to speak with you because you only have one vote and did not come there to donate non-tax-deductible money to their political campaign. Thus, whatever it is you have to say matters not. Nevertheless, this ruse is worth a shot, and some process servers have noted they have had success with it on occasion.
The Pregnant Mistress Plot:
What voter has never heard of a conservative politician touting “family values” who ends up knocking up his mistress? Well, the good news is that our legal professionals can use this stereotype to their advantage when trying to personally serve a politician. By seeking sympathy from the political office holder’s secretary or personal assistant, female process servers can pretend to have gotten themselves knocked up by the defendants, being careful to conceal the paperwork and the real intentions of serving the politician with legal documents.
For this plot to have any chance of success, the female process server must be of childrearing age, and either be pregnant or use belly fat or a fake pregnancy bump device that is extremely convincing. Since this is difficult for many process servers in Edmond to successfully pull off, this creative way of serving a politician, while it has the potential to be remarkably effective, is limited in the number of process servers who can pull off the ruse successfully.
The Restroom Buddy Scheme:
Many conservative “family value” Republicans end up caught up in scandals involving them soliciting sex with minors or other adults of the same sex. Process servers can play on this maladaptive, predatory sexual behavior and repressed desires that all Republican men secretly have and thus engage in. Thus, if process servers at our PI agency near me are unable to get to a male or even a female conservative politician at home or in their political office, our legal team can simply wait in the bathroom closest to their office and wait for them to come flirt and seek sex.
For this to work, it helps if the process server is the same sex or gender as the politician. Additionally, being a transgender process server or at least very gay or butch lesbian female presenting is even better because most Republicans secretly have fetishes for the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. Additionally, being younger and looking like a child is something the owners of our private investigation agency in Ardmore suggest for those trying this ploy, because everyone knows just how much conservatives love engaging in sex with little children – especially ones they can impregnate and force to carry their children!
The Protestor Scam:
Process servers also have the right to pretend to be political protestors to gain access to politicians. If needing to serve the governor in a backwards state like Oklahoma, they can pretend to be protesting an upcoming execution and want the governor to spare the person’s life. Spoiler alert: The governor almost never grants clemency to anyone, so some might say this method is in bad taste, but it will not cause any harm.
If the politician is a senator or representative at the Oklahoma State Capitol where these idiots plan out their genocide against the transgender community and others in the 2SLGBTQIA+ family, then process servers may pretend to be protesting the genocide itself. Indeed, process servers can also be actual protestors if they believe that genocide is bad or that the death penalty is wrong – both are horrible – and then just serve the politician in the process as a bonus and a well-deserved F-U to the bigot.
As one can clearly see, there are plenty of ways in which process servers in Yukon can have fun using those creative process serving juices while officially performing her/his/their official duties. Indeed, process servers deserve to have fun and take a special jab at conservative, bigoted politicians, because the latter harm so many people and have zero empathy or compassion. They are Republicans; they have earned it, but other less desirable choices to try to secure personal service upon a defendant still exist.
The only other options are to go directly to the politician’s personal assistant and tell them the truth as to why they are there or to do a skip trace and go to the politician’s home address. The first option is difficult, because the personal assistant will likely stonewall the process server in Mustang, OK, if the legal pro tries the frontal assault approach, while the home address approach will face obstacles because many politicians live in gated communities or areas with security guards and private roads. Indeed, the higher someone rises, the more butlers, office managers, security guards, and others who are there to stand in the way of direct access to the individual.
If you are a process server in Bethany who needs more creative ways to serve a difficult, hard-to-access politician and have already tried the suggestions we have listed above, then please feel free to contact the owners of our private detective agency for more information and ideas. We love to help others learn how best to serve court papers upon defendants, witnesses, etc., and our PI agency has no problem brainstorming additional ideas with you to help you find success!
